April 19, 2002, 10:14 PM
Beep
Beep
Beep
“ This just in-In a quiet neighborhood of Oregon, a sixteen-year-old girl has been reported missing. Her name is Taylor Will and she has not been seen for hours now. It’s as if she disappeared into thin air. To stay updated on Taylor’s case come back here tomorrow morning. This is live presen- ”
I can’t listen to this anymore. I turn off the TV and turn away. How did this even happen? I don’t recollect ever talking to that quiet girl. She was always that shy girl no one noticed. Where is she? My mind wanders in turmoil.
***
August 23, 2001, 7:54 AM
“ Hey, what’s up! ” I say nervously approaching Spencer.
Taking a long pause, he takes his headphones off, and in an annoyed manner replies, “ Nothing much, what do you want? ”
Even though I find his reaction to be quite rude, I politely ask, “ Oh I was just… I was just wondering what book you are reading there.”
He smiles a little and says, “ Oh this? This is just The Odyssey. It’s a classic.”
Surprised, I ask, “ Isn’t it a romantic novel? Doesn’t the hero go through many obstacles only to find the love of his life? ”
Spencer replies bashfully, “ Yeah I guess… ”
Right before he puts on his headphones, I try to cheer him up by saying, “Oh, no, don’t worry! I also enjoy reading romantic novels! It’s just that I’ve never seen a boy enjoy reading one.”
Spencer looks at me thrilled and says, “ Well, do you remember the scene where…”
“Hey, no spoilers!” I laugh. Spencer and I talk for a while. We talk about the intriguing beasts in the book. Suddenly, from the corner of my eye I see Polly, a pretty popular girl, make fun of Taylor’s shabby clothes. The girl flinches but utters not a single word. Whatever. Not my problem. I turn my attention back and continue to talk to Spencer.
***
October 4, 2001, 12:23 PM
“ Ms. Enelia! Why are you late! ” demands my science teacher. I slowly walk into the class; my teacher obviously has to bark at me in front of the whole class.
“ Sorry! I won’t do it again! ” I lie. With pitying eyes, Spencer waves his hand and gestures to me to sit next to him. I get so happy every time I see him. He makes me smile every day. Polly, who sits in front of me, turns around, and whispers, “ Hey what’s up! ”
Spencer answers in a low voice, “ Nothing much, how about you? ”
As if she has expected the question, she answers in a playful tone, “ Ugh, I’m so annoyed; literally, why can’t Taylor just leave us alone? She’s just so annoying! ”
Although I want her to stop, I play along and say, “ Oh my gosh, I know, right! No wonder she has no friends! ”
Spencer looks at both of us blankly but quickly looks down and doesn’t respond. For some reason, I kind of wish he could say something. Maybe to stop Polly or even to continue with her.
***
January 6, 2002, 4:03 PM
“ No, please, stop! I beg you! Please! ” I implore the three girls giggling and throwing eggs at me. I’m on the floor trying to cover myself with my science textbook. I don’t know where my glasses went, so everything is blurry to me. Two of the girls walk around me, sneering at my egg drenched clothes.
The other girl walks in front of me and kneels towards my face. “ Oh, poor Taylor. Don’t you ever realize that you are just a scrawny little girl whom everyone hates? ” She laughs at me viciously. I remember that voice. It sounds familiar.
“ You want to know why everyone, including me, despises you? ” she continues.
Polly. Of course. She’s Polly. But why does she hate me? What have I ever done? How could I-
“ The reason why I loathe you is because of who you are. Did you know that how hard I worked for the science fair, one of the best in the entire state? Did you know how hard I worked for hours on that? Did you know how much extra work I did just so I could be the top of the class? Do you know how worthless I feel whenever I come home every day knowing my idiotic father will be disappointed in me after so much I do just to impress him? ”
She’s almost screaming, stifling tears from her eyes. “ And you still get the first place in the science fair. You still are at the top of the class. After everything I do, you get the laurels. ”
She laughs, wiping off her tears. For the first time, I pity her. Polly repeats, “ And I get nothing. My parents didn’t even know I had school on the first day of school! Heck, they don’t know anything! ”
She kneels down to look at me again. For the first time, I see kindness in them. She finds my glasses and gives them to me. I hardly recognize they were right beside me. “ Here, I’ve said it now. I despise and loathe you for who you are. I know what I’ve done is mean and unfair to you, but I’m not sorry for those actions. I hate you. ” She returns to that vicious look in her eyes, drops my glasses from my sweaty hands, and crushed them with her foot.
No. No. NO! I can barely see anything without them! I want to get up and scream at her. But nothing comes out. Nothing at all. Almost as if I have lost my voice.
“ No one will ever love you. I despise you and so does everyone in this world. I wish you could just disappear. I wish you could just leave and go away. No one wants you here. ” Polly sneers at me.
She walks away and my vision starts to blur again. One of her lackeys smirks and says, “ Later, loser. ” and giggles as she runs to Polly. I’m all alone. I want to cry. I want to cry to feel better. But nothing comes out. Like before. Just like before. If I could just once speak out for myself, Polly and her minions would understand what I’m going through. What am I- some type of toy? Do I just let people hurt and walk over me? Who am I? And the worst of all is that I don’t feel a thing. When Polly torments me, I just let her. I guess I’m just used to this. I stay sitting on the ground hugging my knees until I finally have the sense to get my phone to call my mom.
“ Hey, sweetie. I was just thinking, how about I make some nice-”
“ No, Mom, no. Hey, can you just pick me up please? ” I interrupt. I try not to tear up in front of my mom. I don’t want any of her stupid pep talks; I wonder if they will ever make me feel better. I just want to feel okay again. Okay is all I need. I hang up the call, not wanting any questions. I get up, try to brush the eggshells out of my hair and see my mom’s bright blue car. She always tells me to stand out because the world needs the original people. I laugh and try to hide the tears.
My mom looks worried. She runs to me, ” Hey what happened to you? I have some paper towels in the back. Why don’t we get you cleaned up.” She always knows how to make me feel better. She takes me to the car glancing at the crushed glasses on the ground but doesn’t utter a word.
***
February 8, 2002, 7:58 AM
I put on my headphones and walk to school. I’m feel really nervous today, but I hope I will get the answer I want from Enelia. As the wind whips my hair, I think of Enelia. My Enelia. She’s the first person who has ever cared for me. I used to be so alone without a care in the world. But since she has come to my life, she has made me so much happier. I just love how her eyes light up at the mention of books and knowledge. Heck, I love everything about her. I really hope I can take her to the school dance. It will mean everything in the world to me.
“ Hey, Spencer! Oh my gosh, I just finished The Day of the Jackal, and it is so fantastic! Its moral and characters were just….” as Enelia raves about the book, I just gaze at her. As if everything has fallen silent for a second. I just gaze at the eyes that spark, ready to soak in so much knowledge. I clear my throat and ask, interrupting her, “ Will you go to the dance with me? ” She looks stunned with her cheeks flushed.
She takes a long pause and stares at me. “ Yes. I will go to the dance with you.” She looks happy. That’s all I want her to be.
She quickly hugs me and says, “ Can’t wait. ” I barely hug her back; it all happened so fast. Next thing I know, she turns and runs away, “ See you at break, Spencer. ” leaving me thrilled and shocked. I too turn around and sprint to class, for I’m already five minutes late. I feel the wind blow past me, still thinking of Enelia. Everything is happening so fast, but I’m just glad I met her.
***
April 19, 2002, 5:57 PM
I come out of my shower wearing a robe and a towel tied around my head. I look at the foggy reflection in the mirror. Even after months, I can still hear Polly’s words, echoing my ears and the feel of egg yolk trickling down my hair. I swipe the mirror with my palm and look up closely at my reflection. Who is that person staring back at me? That person is not me. That person is someone I don’t and will never know. That’s a girl who is trembling with fear, whom everyone hates. That’s a quiet and shy girl. I stare at my ugly self, “ You are nothing; no one will ever love you. ” I repeat Polly’s words. My vision is blurry from holding back tears. But I can’t take anymore. I just can’t keep my emotions so bottled up. Thump. I fall to the ground. Something is paining inside of me. It hurts. I don’t know what’s hurting inside of me. It hurts so much. I look if I got any bruises or something, but this feeling is inside of me. What is this feeling? What is this? Can someone please help me, please? Please? Anyone?
Wake up, Taylor it’s just a nightmare you’re having. Please, just wake up. You’ll be okay when you wake up. Please, just know that no one hates you; you’re just having a nightmare. Just know when you wake up, you’ll have so many friends you won’t be able to count. I lie on the ground now sobbing and pleading myself to wake up. But this is the reality. I’m not dreaming. I get up and wipe my wet cheeks. I wipe the mirror again to see my reflection. I hate what I see. I hate who I am. I hate how I act. I hate everything about myself. I hate myself. It doesn’t even hurt anymore when I cry. I just want to restart my life. I just want to disappear.
***
April 19,2002, 6:34 PM
I straighten out my dress. It’s the night of the dance and Spencer is coming in five minutes. I’m so nervous. I don’t know what to do. My heart is racing so fast. What if I dance weirdly or what if my hair will looks strange and-
Ding Dong
Ok, Enelia. Just act natural. Just act natural? How can I act natural? At a time like this? Ok, at least breathe. I grab my purse and walk to the door.
***
April 19, 2002, 6:34 PM
I look at Enelia across the room. She looks beautiful. She looks at me back and smiles. We barely talked on our way to the dance. Ok, Spencer. You have to tell her about your feelings. I walk to her.
“ Hi. ”
“ Hey. ” she says. We stay like this for a while. Come on, Spencer just let it out.
“ Look, I really like you. ” She looks stunned. I start to continue-
“ Attention students! May I please have your attention! ” my science teacher interrupts on the stage. Oh great, what does he want now?
“ Is Taylor Will here? Taylor Will? Anyone? ” he asks. I start to look around but abruptly a woman opens the door and yells, “ Has anyone seen my daughter? Please, is she here? I’ve looked everywhere for her! My daughter?!” She holds out a picture of a girl. Oh my god, that’s Taylor. I take the picture from her hand. “ Guys, do you have any idea where she is? ” I shout to my classmates. Everyone mutters and shake their head. Enelia looks worried. So am I.
“ I’ve checked everywhere she could possibly be! ” Mrs. Taylor responds. She starts to cry. I feel so bad for her. I rush to the door. Enelia, Mrs. Will, and even Polly follow me. Why is Polly here? We all, except Polly, turn around cup our hands around our own mouths, walk around the school and onto the road, and scream out Taylor’s name. For some reason, Polly just stands there as if all of her emotions have drained out of her. She chaotically runs around and yells out Taylor’s name. Why does she care? She hates Taylor. Her voice is breaking and her eyes are filled with tears.
It’s been about two hours now. We are still searching and Polly is still crying. She looks lost and scared.
“ Hey, you ok? ” I ask. She doesn’t look up. She’s just kneeling on the rough road.
“ Hey, I’m talking to you! What’s wrong? ” I get angry. I have a right to be. She has been so mean to Taylor and now she just chooses to help? I-
“She’s missing because of me.” she interrupts.
“What are you talking about?” Mrs. Will asks, listening to our conversation.
“Mrs. Will, I’m the reason why. I asked her to disappear, and so she has. All of this is my fault.”
“ You don’t know that. She could have been kidnapped. No one knows right now. But about the bullying. We will talk about that later. ” Mrs. Will says in a stern voice. She looks angry. She has every right to be. But why is Polly so sad? Polly doesn’t even look guilty. She still looks like all of her emotions have been drained out of her. What’s wrong with her? I tell Enelia, “ Hey, go home. We’ll talk about this later. ” I look at her with concerning eyes. I try not to think about what I had said before. Right now I need to know where Taylor is. Enelia nods and leaves. I think Mrs. Will has too. Polly is still on the ground. “Hey, can you talk to me? Why are you behaving like this?”
Polly finally looks at me with watery eyes. “Don’t you get it? I don’t need your help and comfort. Taylor did. All my life, I have bullied Taylor and wished for her to disappear and now she has. Because of me. She needed someone like you. But you let me bully her. Everyone has. We are all guilty of her disappearance. We used her and hated her and all this time she let us! All this time she was mentally killing herself! And no one saw. You were so caught up in your stupid crush on Enelia, but did you ever think of her? Did you? I guess we never knew how much we can hurt one person with just words. We don’t kill people with guns and knives! We kill them with hate like this!” She starts to cry. Even I start to cry. Because she’s not wrong. I can’t stay strong. Neither can Polly. But Taylor, she was the strongest of us all. If I feel so miserable now, how did Taylor endure this way all her life? I can tell we will never know.
***
April 19,2002, 10:14 PM
I cry on my father’s shoulder.
“ Enelia, what’s wrong? What happened?” my father asks.
“ Dad, she’s gone. Where is she, Dad?” I repeat as my eyes start to swell up. The television is on, and the News Channel reporter comes on. We sit down on the couch, hoping to hear good news. I kneel on my father for support.
The news reporter says, “ This just in-In a quiet neighborhood of Oregon, a sixteen-year-old girl has been reported missing. Her name is Taylor Will and she has not been seen for hours now. It’s as if she disappeared into thin air. To stay updated on Taylor’s case come back here tomorrow morning. This is live presen- ”
